i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
