this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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