Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
