Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize