Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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