that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
