mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
