ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
