Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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