Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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