the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize