So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
jump out the window naked night went bad
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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