it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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