My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
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Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
send nudes
from the living room?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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