Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
