Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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