do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Send help, water and tortillas.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
