I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize