I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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