Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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