what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Two words: nipple clamps
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