you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
