I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
