just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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