I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
