can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
