I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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