My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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