does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
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do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
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Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle