Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.