I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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