you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
