'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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