we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
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