were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize