I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
