he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize