Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
