her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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