Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
