White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize