I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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