my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
