The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize