i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
