You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
