I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
