WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
