its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
