i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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