Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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