Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
