I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
