Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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