never play flip cup with pint glasses
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
