Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
