Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
