i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
