When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
