worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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